New life or just a repurposed used one?

new-or-used-not-always-an-easy-choice1“I don’t know that I trust Jesus to give me a new life, I just want him to fix the life I know.” ~Ron Vanderwell, New Life Church

This statement has given me so much to think about, probably because it’s truer than I want it to be.

My prayers to God consist of the many things I think he should change in my life and exactly how he should change them. I don’t leave much room for interpretation…or faith.

The list is endless and I put a lot of energy and creativity into my solutions. If anyone overheard my prayers they would be certain that I knew the best approach, the best solution, the best direction for anything and everything that was going on in my life and the lives of others. If I was really honest, my prayers reflect an attitude that on some level I don’t think God is getting it right and I am now stepping in to help him correct the things He has done wrong.

That is a harsh judgement of myself…but I am afraid that it is true.

What if instead of fixing my situations or circumstances God wanted to fix me? Do I even allow any space for that to exist? Is there a place in my constant jabber and thoughts and instructions to God to allow him to be God in my life?

There is a verse in the Bible, in John 14:14 that says, “You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.” I love that verse…It makes my endless list seem legitimate. But that is just a sound bite of what Jesus really said.

The rest of the quote says, “I tell you the truth anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.” John 14:12-14

“Anyone who has faith in me…” I think that is where I fall. I think that is where my blindness kicks in and lies to me. What does it look like, sound like, feel like to have so much faith in Jesus that I “do what he has been doing?”

Do I want to do what he has been doing?  I said a few paragraphs ago that I didn’t think he was doing it right.

“I don’t know that I trust Jesus to give me a new life, I just want him to fix the life I know.”

The life of freedom that Jesus offers is based on obedience. Obedience requires that I have faith in him and through that faith He will do even greater things and will show me what to ask for in his name.

That will bring glory to the Father.

Then, whatever I ask for he will do.

Lord, I want a new life.

Teach me how to trust you with my old one.

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